Confusion

How can you love me
When I can not love me?
How can you love this self?
Wrapped in your arms–I don’t deserve it!
How dare you love this self?

Deep down and hidden,
Denying affection,
Somewhere just waiting to play
There’s a self there just waiting, hiding in masks still
Why will you wait for that day?

I’m so controlled I can’t feel my feelings
Still I keep trying to say
I truly love you, I just want to touch you
I don’t deserve things this way

You think you’re unworthy
Below my tall tower
Where Secrets are kept hidden away
It’s me who’s unworthy
Of your open meadows,
Your sunny smile brighter than day.

I’m dark and I’m creeping
There are voices kept sleeping
I don’t dare speak what they say
I’m lying, I’m crying,
I’m lost in confusion
When my love is just locked away

Sometimes I can’t feel things,
Dark clouds wrap around them
A cage I can’t blow away.
Trapped so, their bent wings
Can’t carry me to you
Your smile shining brighter each day

How can you love me?
Wrapped in such dark clouds?
Can love burn the numbness away?
Why do you love me, the liar, the secret
The bitter things all hid away?

How can you share them, your
Brightness, your feelings,
I don’t deserve you,
Why feel unworthy?
How can you love me this way?

I’m lost but still seeking
Someday I will tell you
How your brightness pointed the way.
Like the moon through clouds peeking
Your smile soothed and healed me
Made hidden night bright as the day

How can you love me,
When I still can’t love me?
You draw truth from me this way
Warm in your love, I feel wrapped in your smile
Sharing your joy in each day.

I don’t deserve you.
You are so wonderful,
How can you think otherwise?
When I gaze upon you, I feel
You’re bright and you’re open
Sprinkled with flowers
A meadow sometimes clouded by day

How can you love me at times
I can’t love me
How can you love me this way?

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